My name? It's Gerald T. Matthew’s and I live in that city in the Southwest, the one famous for those 'things', the lights, the colors. You know, those UFO’s or flying saucers you people are always talking about? Well, I’m not one for speculating much, not on that kind of thing anyway, not unless and not until it comes up and slaps me in the ol’ kisser as they say. That’s what I’m here for, talking about, writing this for...on account of how it all came to pass, not much more than about a month ago anyway.

I’m still shook-up enough, still reluctant to even talk about it to tell you the truth. Hell, I’d rather not say anything about it. Ever since it happened, I have sinus problems, I have migraine headaches, I have to watch who I talk to and what I say...I have to be careful, who knows when ‘they’ might be watching? I’m telling you, it’s a curse to be ‘special,’ to be ‘chosen.’ Ever since it happened, I can’t sleep, I’m afraid to dream...late at night, sometimes, even when my eyes are closed, I see the faces, their faces!

I know, this sounds crazy, insane even. That’s what they’ll say anyway, that’s what they’ll tell you...the ones who don’t want to admit it, the ones who don’t want you to know the truth. But they did something to me that night, they changed me...and I don’t know how much longer I might have, how much longer to get this out, to tell you my story.

I guess that I ought to begin where it all started, that is, to tell you what happened. It was one of those nights, I had to work late. It must have been about one-thirty, maybe two in the morning. The streets were empty, deserted, and the air was moist with dew. My weary eyes scanned the street I crossed, the curb I stepped-up on, the sidewalk, the silent and empty businesses, and then...I looked up into the blue-black evening sky. It was full of stars, nothing unusual. I crossed another street, stepped-up on another curb, and I passed even more buildings.

I know it sounds strange, walking so far in the middle of the night - passing deserted streets and empty buildings and all. Like I said though, I got off work late and you know how expensive cars can be, I missed the last bus by hours!

Anyway, then I crossed another street and an open field near my home. My wife must’ve already had dinner ready, not to mention a nice, warm, soft, comfortable bed. I scanned the horizon, and then, well, then I saw it!

A circle, an orb, a globe of light. It was more than bright, it burned! It lit the ground, it cast a crisp shadow of me along the grassy prairie I was crossing. I froze! ‘A saucer’; I thought: ‘A flying saucer!’

The saucer’s glow was so bright, it lit up the very dust in the air. This was no weather balloon, no secret airplane, it was clearly from some other place, another planet!

I’m not too clear on what happened then. I don’t know the terms, the words, the theories. Not that I’m ignorant, I finished high school and all. But physics, rocket science, well, it’s a little out of my league. I could talk about beams and rays and the things of science fiction, and that was a part of what I saw, but it really wouldn’t explain what happened. Believe me, movies don’t compare to the reality I experienced that night.

What I saw, what I felt, what I became...was a bright, blue, neon light - a charge, a kind of spark. I shot through what seemed to be a kind of conduit, not here, not there, not hindered by gravity or dimensions or reality. From that, and this is so hard to explain, I became ‘aware,’ I sensed, I felt myself floating in what seemed like a lime-green glob of electrically-charged plasma. Maybe it’s their way to slow you down, to neutralize the speed at which that spark is traveling. Another spark, a brilliant flash of color and light, and I find myself within the cold, gray, metal hull of the ship, the flying saucer!

Frightened and alone, I see no doors, no escape. The room is small, there aren’t any seams, I don’t see corners or joints, I don’t know how it was built or welded or molded...it’s just all smooth and very strange. It’s so quiet. I’d yell, I’d scream, but it wouldn’t do any good. No-one would hear.

The silence gnaws at me, it’s what I sense and feel most. It’s all I sense or feel. Have we landed, is the ship motionless in space, or are we traveling at unimagined speeds through space and time and different dimensions? I have no idea, no sense of movement or direction, just the silence, the gnawing silence!

It’s from out of this silence, and shrouded in what I believe to be an artificial shadow, that I see a kind-of glossy yet slimy spark, an eye, a large pair of alien eyes. The curious creature to whom these eyes belong steps out and comes towards me. He’s short, his skin is gray and the perfect camouflage against the metal walls of this ship, his arms and legs are long and thin and weak looking. He reaches towards me and quickly grabs me!

Kicking and screaming and fighting as best as I can, I am yet dragged against my will by this merciless creature. His appearance is deceptive, he’s very strong. He pulls and drags me like you might a near empty sack of potatoes. He doesn’t seem to notice my resistance as we traverse one hall and then another, from the first room to what looks like a control room full of tables, machines, contraptions, into yet another series of halls and another room.

It’s the last room that still frightens me. I look around in sheer terror at the gray, sterile, smooth, lifeless walls. A cold quiet fills the warm, dead air. A group of gray aliens surround me like a curiosity. I know I’m not anything more to them, just a laboratory animal to be studied and examined.

My mind screams, in my mind, I fight these bastards! But in reality, I’m afraid of what they’ll do to me if I scream, if I fight! So I try to act brave, I try to look smart and developed, if for no other reason then that my captors might keep me alive rather than dissect me.

I’ve heard tell of the aliens ‘talking’ through telepathy, I’ve heard a lot of rumors...so I tried to listen really hard, I concentrated, but nothing got through to me. Maybe these aliens wouldn’t waste the time we do talking to pets or lab rats, maybe like insects...they just do things by instinct. I couldn’t tell you for sure. All I know is that I heard no voices, then or now. Never any voices.

I get laid out on this table, not aluminum, not plastic, something in-between sort-of. Something the whole ship was made of, something I think-of as a kind of plastic aluminum, although I’m sure it’s nothing like either of our products.

I tremble, I shake, hell, I probably cried after they took off my clothes and started probing here and there, some needle stuck me in my eye once they had me tied down. I think that’s when something else, another kind of needle, a thick needle stuck me in the back of my neck and implanted a small chip. Damned thing bothers me sometimes, it irritates me, sometimes I think it gets hot and burns me a little. Then, I sort-of don’t remember. Don’t even know how I got back to earth. I’m ashamed to admit it, but I blacked-out.

I went to doctors, told them what happened. A couple of them did x-rays, some kind of scan thing too, but they couldn’t ‘find’ anything. I think it has to be some kind of a bio-chip, something that could fool doctors that’s burning inside my neck, I think it moves sometimes, moves closer to my spine at the base of my brain. I’m sure it is, I’m sure that’s what it has to be doing. Maybe then, well, maybe it’ll replicate and take over my brain, or...maybe if I’m lucky, that’s when I’ll die.

So, now you know my story, now you know why I’m locked-up in this hell hole they call a state hospital with its gray, sterile, smooth, lifeless walls. Inoffensive and non-stimulating music fills the air. A group of gray doctors looking-in on me like a curiosity. I know I’m not anything more to them, just a laboratory animal to be studied and examined.

Oh, they’ll tell you I tried to kill myself, they’ll tell you I tried to cut my own throat, they’ll tell you I’m crazy! But now you know the truth, you know that I was just trying to cut it out, the chip, the alien device. You know I’m not crazy. I was just trying to save you, to save humanity, to save the world! So, if they ever let me out of this gray place, you’ll know they succeeded and that maybe the aliens have taken over my brain! Then, you’ll know I’m one of them. If they ever let me out of this place, you’ll know what to do, won’t you? You’ll know, you’ll have to kill me! For God's sake, PLEASE?

Created: October 29, 1999r.
Last Updated: May 23, 2005r.