BELLS WERE RINGING, THE SNOW WAS FALLING AND EVERYTHING WAS AS IT SHOULD BE IN THE AFFLUENT SUBURBS OF CHICAGO AS ANDY TURNED UP THE VOLUME ON HIS LATEST CHRISTMAS ALBUM. JUMPING IN THE SHOWER, HE SANG ALONG WITH THE MERRY CHOIR BOYS TO THE TUNE OF AN ANCIENT MELODY. LATHERING UP, HE SMILED HEARTILY, JUST TO THINK OF THE BEAUTIFUL TREE HE AND HIS GIRLFRIEND DIANE WOULD BRING BACK FROM THEIR TRIP INTO WISCONSIN TONIGHT. HE SMILED A LITTLE MORE, THINKING ABOUT ALL THE SUCKERS BUYING THE TREES FROM CORNER VENDORS AND HOW HIS TREE WOULD LOOK BETTER, LAST LONGER, AND BEST OF ALL, BE FREE.

SPLASHING ON HIS AFTERSHAVE, ANDY LOOKED IN THE MIRROR AND HAD TO PAUSE WHEN HE THOUGHT, WHEN HE HOPED, THAT HE COULD GET DIANE TO SPEND THE NIGHT. HE DRENCHED ON A LITTLE MORE AS HE MURMURED: "...WELL, IT COULDN'T HURT!" AT THAT, HE REACHED FOR SOME EYE DROPS TO MAKE HIS EYES ALL THE WHITER: "BETTER TO SEE YOU WITH" HE QUOTED FROM AN OLD RHYME. HIS PROBLEM WAS WHAT TO WEAR, SOMETHING CASUAL, BUT NOT TOO CASUAL; HE THOUGHT RIFLING THROUGH HIS CLOSET. SOMETHING THAT WON'T GET RUINED BY A LITTLE SAP, HE WHISPERED TO HIMSELF: "AH, YEAH, DAT'S IT, DAT'L DO NICELY." AND WITH THAT, HE THREW ON HIS SELECTION AND DEPARTED. HE DROVE HIS RED PICK-UP TRUCK TO DIANE'S HOUSE IN RIVERDALE.

NEARING 177TH ANDY LOOKS DOWN AT HIS GAS GAUGE AND DECIDES TO STOP FOR GAS. HE PULLS INTO A SELF SERVICE, NO-NAME STATION AND SLIDES THE CLERK BEHIND A BULLET-PROOF GLASS PARTITION A TWENTY DOLLAR BILL. WHISTLING A CHRISTMAS CAROL, A SOLO RECITAL OF SILENT NIGHT, HE PUMPS HIS OWN GAS AND TOPS OFF THE TANK. IN A FEW MINUTES HE DRIVES AWAY, SNOW GENTLY FALLING AND MELTING ON HIS WINDSHIELD.

ANDY RIDES PAST HOMES ALL DECORATED FOR THE SEASON. HOMES WITH LIGHTS BLINKING, HOMES WITH TRESS DRESSED IN COLORFUL RIBBONS, TINSEL AND ORNAMENTS, HOMES TRIMMED WITH 'ALL THE FIXINS'... IT WAS BREATH-TAKING. ANDY SLID TO A STOP IN FRONT OF THE SIMPLE BUNGALOW AND NAVIGATES HIS WAY, CAREFULLY, OVER AN ICE COATED SIDEWALK AND STAIRS TO HER DOOR. RAP, RAP, RAP; HE KNOCKS. "JUST A MINUTE" DIANE ASKS. "I'LL BE IN THE TRUCK" ANDY YELLS BACK AS HE TURNS AND WALKS BACK TO THE HEATED COMFORT OF HIS PICK-UP.

"HI BABY" DIANE CROONS AS SHE HOPS IN THE TRUCK AND PECKS ANDY ON THE CHEEK. HE LOOKS AT HER, DRINKS IN HER BEAUTY, AND SAYS: "HI SWEET-STUFF!" SHE CHANGES THE RADIO STATION, HE FROWNS, BUT DOESN'T OBJECT AND THEY DEPART THE SUBURBAN COMFORT OF RIVERDALE FOR THEIR CHRISTMAS 'ADVENTURE' IN WISCONSIN WITH A QUIET, WHITENED VIEW OF FRESHLY FALLEN SNOW ALL ABOUT THEM AS THEY PASS THROUGH CHICAGO ON THE EXPRESSWAY.

"WELCOME TO WISCONSIN" DIANE READ THE SIGN POSTED NEXT TO THE EXPRESSWAY. "JUST A LITTLE FURTHER" ANDY SAYS WITH A SMILE. AS THEY PULL OFF THE WELL SHOVELED AND SALTED THOROUGHFARE AND ONTO A LITTLE TRAVELLED, ICY, SNOW-COVERED PATCH OF A ROAD NEAR THE RUINS OF A FORMER GAS STATION THAT, BY THE LOOKS OF THE PRICES ON THE RUSTY, WEATHERED SIGN, MUST'VE CLOSED ABOUT TEN OR FIFTEEN YEARS AGO. ANDY CHECKS HIS GAS GAUGE, HE'S FINE. "IT'S NOT MUCH FURTHER" HE OFFERS WHILE DIANE GIVE A NERVOUS LOOK OUT THE WINDOW. "OH, I, I, ER... THAT'S OKAY, IT'S REALLY DAZZLING OUT HERE" SHE ANSWERS: "IT LOOKS LIKE A GREETING CARD, LIKE WHERE YOU'D EXPECT TO SEE SANTA AND HIS REINDEER!" DIANE STARTS TO RELAX A LITTLE MORE AS THE RADIO FADES TO STATIC. BOTH DIANE AND ANDY ARE A LITTLE LOST IN THIS WINTER WONDERLAND, IN THE BLANKETED WILDERNESS OF WISCONSIN.

THE ROAD GETS A LITTLE HARDER TO PASS, A LITTLE ROUGHER, A LITTLE BUMPIER. THE WOODS GROW THICKER AND LUSHER. ANDY DRIVES ON, SLOWER, BUT STEADILY, DETERMINED TO FIND AND CUT DOWN A BEAUTIFUL TREE FOR THE HOLIDAYS.

"THERE" ANDY BLURTS OUT, DIANE JUMPS, STARTLED AND THE TRUCKS SKIDS TO A STOP. ANDY AND DIANE GET OUT OF THE TRUCK AND ALL SHE CAN DO IS TO STARE AT THE MAGNIFICENT BEAUTY PERCHED BEFORE HER. THE TREE, A DOUGLAS FUR LOOKED DOWN AT THE COUPLE, OBSERVED THEM WHILE ANDY TOOK A LITTLE AXE OUT FROM BEHIND HIS SEAT IN THE TRUCK. DIANE WATCHED AS HE STARTED CHOPPING AT THE BASE: TAP, TAP, TAP... IT DIDN'T SOUND LIKE DIANE IMAGINED IT WOULD AND ANDY FROWNED, CHANGING HIS POSITION, CHOPPING AGAIN: TAP, TAP, TAP. THERE WAS A LOUD "CRACK" AS ANDY YELLED OUT: "TIMBER!" THE TREE CRASHING DOWN WITH A MIGHTY THUD.

"GIMME A HAND" ANDY ASKED AS HE STARTED PULLING THE TREE TOWARDS THE TRUCK-BED. "UGH..." THEY BOTH GRIMACED AND STRAINED, FINALLY GETTING THE OVERSIZED TREE INTO THE TRUCK. "LIKE TO SEE WHAT THIS WOULD CAST BACK IN TOWN" HE CHUCKLED. "WELL, IT IS BEAUTIFUL" SHE SHRUGS, ASKING: "WE GONNA GET SOMETHING TO EAT?" "YEAH, I KNOW OF A GREAT LITTLE PLACE RIGHT ON THE BORDER, FRESH FISH AND STEAKS THAT THICK" HE SAYS, MOTIONING WITH HIS HAND. "Mmm... LET'S GO" DIANE ANSWERS ENTHUSIASTICALLY, HER TEETH CHATTERING FROM THE COLD AIR. THEY BOTH JUMP INTO THE TRUCK, THE HEATER STILL RUNNING.

HAPPY AND ANTICIPATING A FULL, DELICIOUS MEAL, ANDY AND DIANE DIDN'T MIND THE RUTS AND POT HOLES ON THE RETURN TRIP. THE ROAD SEEMED WORSE, BUT THERE WASN'T ANY APPREHENSION UNTIL: "BOOM" A TIRE BLEW! DIANE HIT HER HEAD ON THE ROOF, YELLING OUT: "OUCH!" ANDY LET LOOSE WITH A: "DAMNED IT!" AND THE TRUCK SLAMMED INTO A WALL OF HARD ICE AND SNOW. SHAKEN BY THE COLLISION, THEY FALL SILENT. THE SILENCE IS DEAFENING FOR A WHILE, SECONDS PASS, ANDY LOOKS AT DIANE AND ASKS: "YOU OKAY?" "YEAH" SHE WHISPERS, ON THE BRINK OF TEARS. "LOOK, I THINK I SAW A PHONE AT THAT STATION OVER THE HILL" HE OFFERS, REFERRING TO THE ABANDONED RUIN THEY PASSED WHILE SEARCHING FOR THEIR TREE. "BUT, WELL... THAT PLACE LOOKED LIKE IT'S BEEN CLOSED FOR A LONG TIME" DIANE QUESTIONS. "YEAH, I KNOW" HE EXPLAINS: "BUT, I GOTTA TRY SOMETHING, WE'LL FREEZE IN HERE!"

"WAIT IN THE TRUCK, DON'T OPEN THE DOOR FOR ANYTHING..." ANDY IMPLORES AS HE SETS OFF TO TRY TO GET SOME HELP. "CLICK" DIANE LOCKS THE DOOR AS ANDY TRUDGES THROUGH THE SNOW. DIANE PLAYS WITH THE RADIO DIAL AND TUNES INTO A NEWSRADIO STATION, THE ANNOUNCER READING A FRIGHTENING BULLETIN ABOUT SOME ESCAPED LUNATIC FROM A STATE HOSPITAL IN MILWAUKEE. THIS DERANGED PSYCHOTIC HAD DISMEMBERED HIS VICTIMS, THIS DEPRAVED DEGENERATE ENJOYED KILLING AND WOULD THEN CANNIBALIZE HIS PREY LIKE A WILD ANIMAL, SLASHING THE VICTIM OPEN... TEARING-OUT THEIR LIVER AND EATING IT/CLICK/ DIANE SHIVERS AND CHANGES THE STATION.

SOME SOFT MUSIC PLAYS IN THE TRUCK, THE WIND AND FALLING SNOW PICKING-UP OUTSIDE. "KACLICK" DIANE OPENS THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT: "Hmmm... LET'S SEE WHAT YOU'VE BEEN UP TO" SHE MURMURS WITH A CROOKED LITTLE SMILE, LOOKING AT THE ROOF OF THE TRUCK AS AN ERRANT TREE BRANCH OR SOMETHING SCRATCHES THE TOP OF THE TRUCK CAB. 'SCER-RA-ATCHHHHH, SCER-RA-ATCHHHHH, SCER-RA-ATCHHHHH...' THE SCRATCHING WENT ON CONTINUALLY WITH THE WIND AND THE SNOW. DIANE TURNS-UP THE MUSIC, SHOVING THE FEW BILLS SHE'S READ AND REREAD BACK INTO THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT.

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SECONDS TURNED INTO MINUTES INTO HOURS AND DIANE DOZED AND UNDER THE STEADY 'SCER-RA-ATCHHHHH' ON THE ROOF OF THE TRUCK FELL FAST ASLEEP. DIANE DREAMT THAT ANDY CAME BACK. HE WAS CUT AND BLEEDING, HE WAS SWEATING AND SCARED! HE WAS RUNNING, RUNNING FROM A MANIAC... THE MANIAC ON THE RADIO! HE JUMPED IN THE TRUCK AND THEY SPED OFF, DRIVING ON THE FLAT, SPEEDING PAST THE RUINS OF THAT OLD GAS STATION ONTO THE EXPRESSWAY! HE DOESN'T SPEAK, HE ONLY DRIVES AND HE DRIVES LIKE THE DEVIL HIMSELF IS CHASING HIM!!! SHE TURNS TO LOOK, TO SEE IF THAT MANIAC FROM THE STATE HOSPITAL, THE ONE WHO DISMEMBERS HIS VICTIMS AND EATS THEIR LIVERS, TO SEE IF HE SOMEHOW IS BEHIND THEM. HE'S NOT, SHE'S RELIEVED, BUT THEIR ARE LIGHTS! THERE IS A NOISE, A BLEEP OR A BLURP OF A SIREN AND STILL THE LIGHTS ARE FLASHING, THE AMBER AND BLUE LIGHTS COME CLOSER!

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"IN THE VEHICLE" A MAN'S VOICE CALLS TO HER FROM A LOUDSPEAKER: "YOU, IN THE VEHICLE!" DIANE STIRS AND AWAKENS FROM HER DREAM TO AN EERILY LIT WORLD WITH FLASHING AMBER AND BLUE LIGHTS. "PLEASE STEP OUT OF THE VEHICLE" THE VOICE CALLED TO HER. LOOKING BACK, DIANE SEES THREE OR FOUR SQUAD CARS WITH THEIR LIGHT BARS FLASHING, DOORS OPEN AND SILHOUETTES OF STATE TROOPERS IN THEIR "YOGI BEAR" HATS.

CONFUSED AND DAZED, SHE STUMBLES OUT OF THE TRUCK AND SLIPS IN THE SNOW. SHE STRUGGLES TO GET UP, GRABBING THE DOOR HANDLE AND WALKS TOWARDS THE TROOPERS. "THAT'S IT, JUST STEP THIS WAY, MA'AM" THE STATE POLICE OFFICER URGES: "JUST STEP THIS WAY, AND DON'T LOOK BACK, MA'AM, JUST THIS WAY..."

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"WHA, WHAT" SHE THINKS: "DON'T LOOK BACK?" SHE SLIPS AGAIN, SHE FALLS AND SHE GETS UP. "KEEP WALKING THIS WAY MA'AM, DON'T LOOK BACK" THE TROOPER REPEATED, IDENTIFYING HIMSELF: "THIS IS THE WISCONSIN STATE POLICE." SHE FELT RE-ASSURED AT THAT, BUT WHY DIDN'T THEY COME TO HER, LIKE IN THE MOVIES AND WHAT WAS THIS "DON'T LOOK BACK?"

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"THE MANIAC" COULD HE BE BEHIND HER? AND WITH THAT MANY POLICE THERE, WHY NOT LOOK BACK? WHY DIDN'T THEY SHOOT HIM? WHY DIDN'T THEY RUN UP AND ARREST HIM? WHY DIDN'T THEY DO THINGS LIKE IN THE MOVIES?

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CURIOSITY GOT THE BETTER OF HER, DIANE TURNS HER HEAD AND IN UTTER HORROR SHE WATCHED ANDY, HIS DISSECTED BODY DRIPPING WITH SYRUPY BLOOD AND HANGING BY HIS FEET FROM A TREE. SHE WATCHED AS ANDY, HIS HANDS HANGING LIMP AND LIFELESS, BLOWING IN THE COLD WINTER WIND, SCRATCH THE TOP OF HIS TRUCK AND SHE PASSES OUT, FALLING INTO THE ARMS OF A QUICK MOVING STATE TROOPER.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>SCER - RA - ATCHHHHH!!!<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>SCER - RA - ATCHHHHH!!!<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>SCER - RA - ATCHHHHH!!!<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

Created: October 29, 1999r.
Last Updated: May 23, 2005r.